the following are basic life truths that steph learned from her father and has now passed onto me and my roomates. i never knew these truths before meeting steph. so, thank you stephanie for passing them onto me. because i care, i would now like to pass them onto you.
- never pinch pimples in the danger zone on your face because that will cause brain damage. If you want to know where the danger zone is just ask someone who lives at 2520. we know.
- pumping gas and talking on your cell phone at the same time will put you in grave danger. and is not worth taking the chance. ever. you also do not want to get in and out of the vehicle because the opening and the closing of the vehicle door may bring danger to you. in fact. it's better to pretty much best to just pick one spot to stand and stay there until your gas tank is full.
- swiss cheese is gross and should not be eaten by anyone. touching it is going too far.
- bras may cause cancer if they are worn to bed.
- do not sit directly on public toilet seats because you may become pregnant.
- chewing gum kills brain cells.
- do not stop at rest stops because they are very dangerous. anytime you hear that one of your friends is going on a road-trip, please inform them of this danger.
- do not sit too close to the television or stand to close to the microwave because you may get radiated.
- it is a universal truth that horses celebrate their birthdays on january 1st.
i never knew.
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7 comments:
wait, horses celebrate their birthdays on january first? why? why not august 22 or something?
because august 22 is my parent's anniversary.
well, i think your parents should share, its not every day a horse gets to celebrate its birthday!
I agree with the pumping petrolium (gas) one. My fathers enternal nuggets of wisdom have told me that the car will blow up on you. Also, when you get out of the car, before beginning the pump, you should touch something metal to get rid of static electricity. Oh, by the way, I must have healthy brain cells and be very smart since I've never chewed gum! :)
i always thought that you would blow up if you talked on your phone while pumping gas too!
but i was sorely mistaken when we discussed these eternal truths late one night. apparently, they are all myths. i mean, i haven't blown up yet...
can i just say that i don't think anyone laughs as much as we do. no one. :)
I am so glad my daughter, Ellie, told me about this blog spot! These are things that I also did not know. As the mother of 9! children, I have needed to know these things for many years. Now I do. I believe that I will copy off this list so that I can distribute it to young parents seeking my advice in their child rearing journey!! Please, Steph, if there are more of these tidbits of knowledge/warning that should be included in my lectures to parents, send me an e-mail or blog another list!!
By the way, lest anyone doubt, as the mother of 9! (except for brief periods during labor and delivery!) I in no way regret having sat directly on public toilet seats so many times!
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